Years ago I was a bit of an extreme athlete. My body was pretty ripped and I pushed the limits, hard. I ran up and down mountains, climbed tall overhanging cliffs and mountain biked by moonlight. I made a ski movie and jumped off 60 foot cliffs often after my morning coffee.click here
On the outside I was a pretty in-shape dude. I got lots of praise for being so “fit.” But inside I was a bit of a mess. Every time I found myself in an intimate relationship I would bail out for a variety of superficial, lame reasons. Moreover, the harder I pushed myself, the less fulfilled I was. And the joy I felt never lasted.
What was missing? I was fit externally, but unfit internally. My “inner world” was foreign territory.
The future of men’s health is psychological health-“inner world” fitness.
Most men think being healthy means having a 6 pack or “eating right.” Most men also think that if a guy wins triathlons, he is a really healthy guy. But why is it that some triathletes are zombies emotionally. These guys could be just as pissed off or shut down as the guy who never exercises. I have worked with many uber athletes who are completely incompetent when it comes to relationship, just like I was.
This “common guy” approach to fitness is fine, but ultimately it’s pretty limited. If you want to be healthy and feel at peace overall, and you really want happiness and fulfillment, you MUST work out your inner psychology.
Men who’s inner world is foreign territory will always think that happiness and joy comes from the outside and will therefore always be looking for it in all the wrong places. Dudes that are cut-off from their inner world are a bomb waiting to explode.
So, what are some signs of being psychologically out of shape? Here are five:
1. you are not that open to feedback from others
2. you are easily defensive or resentful
3. you are pretending to be happy
4. when someone asks you how you feel, your standard answer is “Fine”
5. you place all of your value on external wins and appearances
If you can relate to any of these, you’re out of shape psychologically.
So, what should you do?
* First, ask yourself if you have any interest in getting your inner world in shape. Is that of any interest to you?
* Next, ask yourself what is the impact of me being out of shape psychologically? For example, if you are indeed out of shape internally, maybe that has an impact on your co-workers or partner. Moreover, it is likely that you surround yourself with people who support your psychological “out-of-shapeness.”
If you want to have a bigger impact and be a game-changing Man, consider working your most out-of-shape muscle of all-your inner being, otherwise known as your heart.
Jayson Gaddis, LPC, CEO
2825 Marine Street
Boulder, CO 80303